Lately, I admit, life has been totally out of control. I think it all started in a conversation in a train one day, and this kind, pervy old man started chatting about life and his children and he asked me what I did in real life. I tried to grasp whatever I was trying to explain and in the end I think I said like: Oh I plan growth strategies for Fortune 500 companies.
Let’s zoom back sometime this time last year, where I declared that my life was a drama serial – yes, that was even before terrorist flights, house buying, new jobs and PUA best friends. I declared that life needed to be more normal. And then, in the great grand scheme of things, it seemed that life not only did get a little more normal, it also got totally out of control.
So now, I plan corporate strategies for Fortune 500 companies, like McKinsey or strategy consulting firms. And I’ve been trying to figure that out. The only issue is that in the midst of working, traveling and dedicating my life to planning strategies for big corporations, I seem to have absolutely lost my own inspiration to plan my own strategies or whatever not there is left.
Like the way I once declared that life is beautiful and started to take in whatever I wanted in life. I was crazy creative and funny and somehow something is like driven out of me. Where is that evil sparkle in my eye where I was totally inspired to do whatsoever inspired me, where is that joie de vivre which I normally wake up to?
I think it’s called the feeling of the rut. Like the feeling of when you know a relationship isn’t working out anymore and you want to call it the quits because it is in a rut, but you don’t dare to because you wake up and you are all alone. Then you buzz the person occasionally now and then, to hold that little silver line of hope that if all else fails there is something there. Yeah, that is called the rut. And then one day, you wake up, and you are in your late 40s, wondering what have I done wrong in my life? And maybe that’s called the mid-life crisis. Everything is just wrong, because it was wrong in the first place, then you should fold that life into a small boat, and set it floating down the canals of Amsterdam.
And so, actually, today is the beginning of a bright new era where I actually do a non-data-driven life strategy, possibly to that 23 year old which thought that life was beautiful. Where the train doors open, and I start to breathe and say good morning life, how are you doing today. To paint the rainbows and colors instead of letting life lead me. And then, remembering that life is just an illusion powered by your imagination. And whilst one can just live, I’m one of the imaginateers.
Life perhaps, has just begun.
